My Second Christmas Without Your Cookies
My mom baked the best holiday cookies, filling the house with those wonderfully luscious smells of the season, with sugar cookies and snickerdoodles, fudge and divinity, and a few new recipes she’d found. The holiday season was my mom’s time to sparkle. She loved cooking, baking, and doing thoughtful things for others.
As a kid I delighted in helping her make them all, especially if I got to lick the spoons when we were finished. I felt like I could be in the Guinness Book of World Records for chopping the most walnuts and making the most fudge and cookies during any one holiday season. We always had fun, especially eating them.
The years passed, but my mom continued to make so many of those cookies and treats. Sometime during December she’d arrive at my house with a round red metal tin filled to the brim with these absolutely priceless treasures, handing me the year’s batch she’d so caringly made for us. She wanted to be sure we had them early to enjoy during the week or so before Christmas. They seldom lasted more than a few days, though, as they were all just too good to stay away from.
Last year I wanted the doorbell to ring to find her standing there with arms open wide for a hug and a kiss. But whenever the doorbell rang, it was someone else.
My mom wasn’t at the door last season.
She’s not going to be there again this year.
My mom quite reluctantly left this earth 18 months ago, May 1, 1999 at 2:05AM, as I held her hand and kissed her cheek with her whole family around her bedside with her. It was clear that she didn’t want to leave us, but she finally accepted that it was her time to go.
I started my own tradition with my children years ago making batches of fudge for ourselves and to give to friends. This year, though, I’ll be adding some of my mom’s cookies to the seasonal baking in her honor and in fond memories of all the seasons of her life. Truly, she is still here with us.